Having had a little meltdown a week or so ago, I decided take myself out of the freezing cold and get some well needed sunshine. I realized how much I had been neglecting the balance in my life, having taken on work, two courses of study, as well as promising that I would write an article once a week for this blog.
All of a sudden I hit a wall, and became completely overwhelmed by my commitments, and felt virtually paralyzed to do any of it. I literally had nothing to give.
I am blessed that with a lot of support, circumstances provided to land me on a sunny beach with 25 degree temperatures where I can get my spirit back, which had sadly been lacking.
However when I first felt the need to do this I actually felt quite defeated, rather than thinking of it as something positive. I felt like I was failing in some way, that I couldn't keep on that go, go, go energy, despite the fact I had achieved quite a lot of my short term goals for January.
Then I read an article "How A Temper Tantrum Could Change Your Life” by Cheryl Richardson - one of my favourite motivational speakers on Extreme Self Care. She basically outlined how sometimes her "Inner Brat" comes out and all she wants to do is resist self care, bitch, complain, and sit down in front of the television watching bad soap operas and eating chocolate.
For starters I love this woman! If someone like her can openly admit that she struggles sometimes lets us all be a little more human.
For years she resisted this and fought hard to keep this inner voice in line, and was incredibly tough on herself. However she has learnt that this is just another part of her, and actually allowing herself to go into this space can bring renewed strength, balance and clarity.
Letting go basically. Allowing what you are feeling to be okay, and actually indulging it to a degree. So here I am letting go....
And after the last few days of pretty much doing nothing more than sleeping, eating and reading (and a bit of chocolate), I have some new visions and feel replenished with energy. I can see that I need to cutback and make adjustments in some areas of my life, to make it more manageable. But I can now do that without the anxiety and dread I had that was overwhelming me before.
It has allowed me to come back to myself in some way.
So if you ever feel these moments of overwhelm. While escaping to a sunny beach is not always possible... Let your little "inner brat" do the talking for a while. She/He may have something important to tell you.