In the words of John Lennon, "There will be an answer.... Let It Be". Acceptance of the way things are can be difficult. Do we accept the status quo? Or do we rally for change and put up resistance?
Often in times of trouble we may not actually be given an option, and the more we resist the way circumstances are, can bring greater pain and struggle.
Perhaps you are going through a relationship breakdown, a job loss, going through ill health, or the grieving of a loved one.
Or maybe it's even just something like trying to make a decision, but there's no clear answer of the way to move forward. For me right now it's as simple as wanting a process to move quicker, but it's moving at it's own pace and nothing I do can speed up the time frame.
It's hard to sit in this place without resistance of wanting it to be different, and similarly if we are in a position of wanting to bring a person back or a situation to be as it was.
We may have a desire to change the way things are, the way we feel, or the emotions that arise, however allowing those emotions to be processed, is the easiest way for them to actually pass.
Perhaps you are feeling anger, sadness, shame or fear? Can you sit with that feeling, really allowing that emotion to be there? We can be hardwired to put on a happy face to the world and even to ourselves, putting that wall up when those difficult emotions come up, shutting them down, not truly being with the experience.
So often we have a tendency to want to numb these feelings rather than experience them, often using unhealthy behaviours like overeating, alcohol, overworking, or other bad habits to distract ourselves and stuff down those emotions.
But I am sure you have probably heard the saying what we resists, persists? How often when you try to avoid something does it constantly return? Staying in the back of our mind, perhaps just out of our immediate consciousness, but looming its head whenever we get quiet, usually when we are trying to sleep or find some peace.
Unprocessed emotion or experiences are 90% of our subconscious mind, so they will constantly come up unless we deal with them.
Often we're taught to reject anger, sadness or fear as a bad thing, however they're usually here to teach us something, and as long as we process these feelings respectively towards others around us, and ourselves, there is nothing wrong with having these feelings. Instead they can be signposts to guide us through events to help you move forward in a healthy way.
It's hard to sit still and be in the muck, however the more we are able to become still, allowing what is surfacing to be there, the easier it is for the emotions to pass through our body.
It's also necessary to be kind to ourselves during these periods. There's a tendency to judge ourselves and tell ourselves that things should be different than they are, or that we should be different, but recognising that this is where you are today, and being compassionate towards yourself for whatever that may look like, can bring a great deal of strength and healing. Show yourself self-love and know that you are doing the best you can in this moment.
Acceptance of the way things are can involve a great deal of trust and courage, to allow them to be and let them unfold. A trust in the way of life and the ebbs and flows it takes, knowing that this too shall pass.
That's not to say if you can see a way to make a difference that you can't take any forward movement. Taking responsibility for our own healing, actions, and even if there is something you see in the world where you feel you can make an impact, by all means I encourage you to take a brave step in this direction.
However when you feel lost or scared by events, I encourage you to create some space around it for acceptance.
Believe me I know it is not an easy space to be in, like everyone I have gone through loss and pain, however I have also come to see anytime I have had great challenge there has also been incredible growth.
There is one guarantee in life is that things will change, the bad as well as the good, we will all go through times of triumph and sorrow, no matter how shiny our social media pages may appear.
Do your best to embrace it all as the journey of this life. Seek help and healing from friends and professionals where needed, and most of all have deep compassion for yourself and what is here in this moment. Let it be okay to be in the struggle, showing kindness and patience towards yourself.
You will get through it step by step, moment by moment, breath by breath, and one day you will find yourself on the other side.
For those seeking assistance, mindfulness and meditation can be a great place to start, please contact me for interest in classes or 1:1 guidance.