Change is the one constant in life, it can arrive upon us gradually, or happen in the blink of an eye, sometimes by choice, or it can come along and blindside us, turning our lives upside down.
Everything is in a constant state of flux, it’s the cycle of life; creation, maintenance and then dissolution. It’s shifting every day in all areas of our life, however, often it’s our resistance to change, and hanging on to what no longer serves us that can cause the most difficulty and discomfort in our lives.
The more we can get comfortable with impermanence, and in fact even take a hand in consciously creating the change in our lives, the more we will feel a sense of flow and ease in our day to day.
After all we’re not the person we were 10 years ago, 5 years ago, or even last month, and if you think about it, nor would you want to be. We're always changing depending on the new information we learn, the people we meet, and our life experiences. What applied to who you were at 18, is totally different to the person you are now, and what you might want, need, or desire.
Imagine if you’d clung on to that younger self, resisting change? Life wouldn’t be so interesting, would it? Yet still we have a tendency for resistance.
Accepting What Is
Change is inevitable, whether that be the positive or negative situations in our life, otherwise life would become stagnant.
This can be difficult to accept, especially when it comes to the good. There is a desire to keep things the same, however they will always shift over time. We could call this the maintenance stage, where we keep things going, they might evolve over time, develop and even grow to be better than before. Ultimately though, at some point everything does come to a conclusion.
The more we can learn to accept this as a part of life, that it’s a constant cycle, the easier it is to begin to let go when something comes to its use by date; reminding ourselves that when one door closes, another always opens.
It will be different, but also a new stage of our evolution and growth.
Consciously Choosing Change
Is the writing on the wall but you find you’re hanging on for dear life to a relationship, job or a habit that doesn’t serve you?
Perhaps it brings security, but not happiness? Or maybe you’re heading down a self-destructive path, and something comes along to stop you in your tracks, to make you re-assess and make a necessary choice to change the behaviour?
Recognizing when situations, relationships or habits are no longer working in our lives, instead of pushing away the unavoidable, we can begin to evolve with the new dynamics.
You might like to ask yourself, is there something that I could improve here, or is it time for me to step away?
There is a real need here to step out of our heads and listen to what is going on in our hearts, to the inner wisdom that we all innately have within us, but don’t often take the time to listen to what it’s saying.
Asking, what is for my highest good and growth? Connecting inward to the heart for the answer, rather than trying to solve it with the mind.
We usually know when things aren’t working or become out dated, and I think we’ve all had those experiences where we’ve clung on to a situation that isn’t in our best interests, but regardless it ends up breaking down no matter what we do; or the rug gets pulled out from under us involuntarily, causing us a lot of pain.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be this way though, if we begin to work with change as the nature of life, rather than clinging to what is, trying to prevent what is happening, we can start to consciously make choices that will create a smoother transition or transformation of our current circumstances.
Learning To Let Go
When we want something to say the same, we often spend a lot of time endeavouring to control our situation. Even though the idea that we have control is actually an illusion, we still hang on to the hope that if we cling on to the reigns, or micro manage, that we will be able to affect the outcome.
Particularly, if things are moving in a direction that we don’t like. Perhaps we feel the dynamics of a relationship have altered, or have a sense of doom about the way our role is changing at work.
However, if we’re over controlling situations in our life, it doesn’t allow for a sense of flow, or for things to evolve in their natural way.
This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work on improving relations or taking steps towards our dreams, but if you're striving to create a specific outcome with a fixed mind-set of how it should be, it leaves little room for magic. If you force developments, or have your hands too tightly on the controls, you might miss things unfolding in incredible ways you don’t expect.
Allowing ourselves to constantly surrender to what is, to let go, even of situations where we would like to keep the status quo, the more we will be able to work with the cyclical nature of our lives.
Honour Your Emotions
Change is inescapable and can sometimes be out of our control, we could lose a loved one, or perhaps someone decides to leave a relationship, leaving us unexpectedly in grief. Perhaps you are made redundant from a job, or an illness strikes, and we need to be able to honour the emotions that rise up.
If you are experiencing something traumatic which is causing a great deal of sadness, perhaps even anger, it's incredibly important to give yourself time to process the event or circumstance, rather than push it away.
And this doesn’t have to be a big situation in your life, even small things that occur can trigger emotions with us.
Emotions and stressful events can get stuck in the body if ignored, and they lie below the surface in the subconscious, only to arise at another point in time, and probably not a very convenient one!
It’s not easy to sit with painful circumstances, or to be patient when we just want to have moved through to the other side of the hurt. However, if we close down the pain we stop it from passing through, and it can be with us a lot longer. Being able to let the pain be felt, is actually the way through to the other side.
It’s in these challenges of life where our growth and learning comes from. These are the situations that push us forward to expand and develop in the longer term. It’s difficult to see this when we’re stuck in pain or sorrow. However, the more we can hold a space of compassion and non-judgement for ourselves, for wherever we are at, helps us to trust that this will pass, and to take solace in the present.
You’re Right Where You Need To Be
Life is challenging, and no one gets away scot free, even if it looks like that on Instagram!
Trust that whatever is here, is for your highest good, growth and evolution. Even in the most difficult of circumstances you will find that there is something to be thankful for, that in the challenge there is a form of rebirth and new creation on its way.
When we can see that change is inevitable, opening to the flow of what could be rather than hanging on and resisting, gives us an unexpected freedom.
By living in the present, we allow ourselves to be open to what is here in this moment, available to whatever life may bring, no matter what happens.
We also allow ourselves to live with greater joy and appreciation, because we’re not living out of fear of what might happen in the future, or stuck back in a past that we can do nothing about.
Know and trust you are exactly where you need to be for your development and expansion.
Create A State Of Flow & Allowing
Life is an incredible process, a winding journey, and challenges will always arise, but a lot of our stress and fear comes from the resistance.
It can be liberating the more we can create a state of flow and allowance; being able to accept what is, and opening up to the new that is available to us if we create a space for it.
It involves a lot of trust in these situations to step away from what no longer serves us, to understand that when we take a big leap of faith in life, that life has a way of stepping in to support us for our courage.
If we find a door is closing, look for the one that is opening, go through that and discover what is new, and all the fascinating possibilities available to you.
Change can be daunting, and can be seen as either frightening or exciting, but either way it’s guaranteed to happen, so the more we can work with it, rather than resist, the more freedom we will experience and connect with the natural flow of our life.
I will be facilitating a letting go ritual, in both meditation and movement at my workshop on the 7th February, if you would like to join. For more information click on the link below.