Just let go…
Easier said than done right?
We’re encouraged to let go, anyone been Marie Kondo’ing it lately? But when you care about something a lot, it tends to have a lot of attachment, especially to certain outcomes; usually the way we think something ‘should’ be, or we desperately want it to be.
Underlying fear keeps us hanging on for worry that if we let something go, what comes in its place? Or the alternative to what we want might not be very appealing.
Perhaps the alternative is nothing, and that can feel scary in itself.
When we get tangled up in a lot of fear based thinking, or try to control outcomes, things rarely run smoothly. In fact, we can end up in so much worry and stress that you can’t see the woods for the trees so to speak.
I’ve been experimenting a lot lately with the idea of ‘surrender’, when I find letting go difficult.
Surrender might have the connotation of giving up, or collapsing, however, it’s anything but. It is more like a softening for life to evolve; rather than holding the reigns so tightly that there is no movement. There is a sense of relief and peace that comes with it.
“Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing.” Eckhart Tolle
When you surrender it helps you to settle into the present, something inside you deeply relaxes.
I’ve had a few instances recently when I was so attached to what I thought I wanted that it was actually doing me a great disservice, it was making me incredibly anxious, and as soon as I surrendered to the way things were, it opened everything up, life became calm again, it bought a sense of peace.
It didn’t mean I still didn’t have a desire, or that I would stop endeavouring to create what I wanted, but it helped open up the perspective; it allowed things to be different than what I might expect, and actually created a great freedom.
Alternatively, hanging on to an old relationship, job, habit, way of being that no longer serves, keeps you trapped in a past that no longer exists. Perhaps it made you happy at one point in your life, so you still cling in hope that something shifts or changes.
Someone said to me recently over something I was hanging on to.
“Would you keep what you had, at the expense of never being able to truly have what you want in life?”
It put it into another perspective. If you want something new, you have to create space for it.
When you look at it that way, you wouldn’t really hesitate, however it isn’t always simple to do.
Letting go is not necessarily easy, even when you know it’s for the best, it can be tough to move on from the past, especially if at one point it was good, or even to move on from things you wanted that didn’t eventuate. And then just when you thought you have let go, a little bit more can sometimes surface, and that’s okay, it can take some time.
However, could you surrender gently into what is?
Life happens moment by moment, and it’s the only place where we can find happiness, an inner peace; and surrendering allows an openness and a softening to naturally arise.
For me surrender creates an ease, it’s about moving into a state of acceptance of the way things are, and having a trust and faith that everything will be okay; without trying to control it, or endeavouring to make something different than it is.
It allows things to manifest and evolve in ways that you wouldn’t be able to foresee.
It’s like you stop fighting with yourself to a degree, you stop pushing against the way things are; that’s what brings the freedom.
Freedom to choose again, to create space, to move through life with a greater feeling of ease and grace, and to choose a more internally peaceful path.
If you need any assistance, Kinesiology & Mind Body Medicine can help you to uncover anything that might be carrying underlying attachment. I am in the clinic every Friday.