You have a dream, but what about that little voice inside your head which pops up, telling you “who am I to do this?”…. but I ask you, “who are you not to?”
Old patterning can keep us stuck, which can leave us feeling like we’re making no progress in life and a little disheartened.
We might not even realize that we are revolving around the same mental loop as we’re so used to the feeling it’s become normalized.
The reality is these patterns or behaviours may have helped us in the past, they feel safe, but they can also keep us in a place that is small and not allowing growth.
You may have developed a fixed mindset where you believe you can’t do something, or that you’re not good at it, so you don’t even try; or just give up, throwing up your hands in frustration at the first hurdle.
Or perhaps fear has you in its grip so you just make no movement at all, you stay stagnant, and underlying feelings of frustration, even anger, or lost hope sets in. Opportunities pass you by as you’re too blinded by the fear to see them, or to take them.
Telling yourself old stories can also erode your self-value and self-worth. Feeling not worthy, not good enough, not valued enough, can be very debilitating. It takes the joy out of life, as you always look to where you can do better, rather than looking at all the great qualities you have. It can lead you to not stretch yourself because of fear of failure, and of course this can get in the way of you reaching for your goals.
The mind chatter… this is the old limiting beliefs and the old fear patterns; it’s not who you really are. They are constructs of the mind, and you have the opportunity to identify them for what they are, and how they are getting in the way of your growth and forward progress.
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got”.
The positive thing is you can re-decide and re-choose, but it is a choice and one that has to be made consistently over and over again.
While our brains are naturally wired for the negativity bias, one of the biggest discoveries of our time is that we can rewire our brains via Neuroplasticity. I highly recommend the book the Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge.
How can you begin to recognize old patterning, behaviours, or ingrained habits that are no-longer serving? And more importantly how can you create a new story?
Meditation can be a great place to start, especially as with a consistent practice one of the biggest transformations that takes place is developing a greater self-awareness. You begin to listen to yourself on a much deeper level, and you notice the well worn paths of the mind, the same old thoughts that repeat again and again.
On top of that meditation literally rewires the brain, it helps bring you into the pre-frontal cortex that is responsible for more lateral thinking, compassion, creativity and out of the fear based patterning of the amygdala, which keeps you operating out of what ‘could’ go wrong.
Remembering that a lot of our old behaviours have arisen to help keep us safe in the first place, meditation helps begin to move us into new ways of thinking.
Often we need someone else to help us see these patterns. This could be listening to a trusted friend, but often it’s useful to get outside help from someone with a fresh perspective. A coach can be an important step to begin to point out these patterns, and help you make shifts to begin to move you forward incrementally. It always helps to have an ally and someone to keep you accountable when creating new behaviours, and coaches can be your running mate over a period of time.
Kinesiology & Mind Body Medicine
Kinesiology & Mind Body Medicine can be another great tool to help uncover the subconscious blocks and limiting beliefs that you may not be aware of, and helps you begin to see things with new eyes.
You store so much in your physical body and underneath the surface of the conscious mind that you don’t even recognize, by tapping into this you can start to release it and move forward to transform it and step into new ways of being.
Change The Behaviour
If you know what is holding you back, you can simply begin to change the behaviour. Whie this sounds simple we all know this can be challenging to stick to, but nor is it impossible. Many of our old patterns have built up over decades so it can seem like a hard task, but change is possible for all of us. Starting small is often the best way, so you don’t give up. (Read Here)
It’s also important to find something to replace the old behaviour, especially where there are well worn stories that you may have consistently told yourself over the years.
When you hear that “not good enough” voice come up. Pull yourself up, change the conversation, over time the thoughts will re-pattern. Whenever you find yourself digging down that some path, notice it, create a new memory pathway.
While discovering some of these limiting thought patterns you have been holding within can seem quite daunting, I encourage you to begin to see this as a positive opportunity to grow in terms of your self-value and self-belief.
When you can see where you are holding yourself back, it creates choice, a way for you to create a new positive energy to step forward into the world, to play big and to create the life you dream of.