It Didn’t Work Last Time! How to Rewire Your System to Try Again
When something doesn’t work out the way we hoped, we tend to go into protection mode, we might retreat, close down, or try to control events around us in order to feel safe. It’s a survival strategy, but left unchecked, it can keep us stuck instead of moving forward.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), which I use in my clinic, this pattern is connected to the Kidney meridian, which governs our sense of safety and resilience. The Kidneys are seen as the root of your vitality, the energetic storehouse that helps us meet challenges with strength and adaptability. Strong Kidney energy helps us persevere, stay focused on our purpose, and to move through obstacles. Whereas when fear and doubt deplete that energy, we may feel indecisive, lacking drive, hesitant or easily discouraged.
This shows up in my clinic not only with people navigating personal challenges but also with my business clients, especially if they’ve experienced setbacks, failures, or times when their trust in themselves or others was shaken. The nervous system remembers. It records those events as potential danger, and the body responds by putting up invisible barriers to prevent “it” from happening again.
From a neuroscience perspective, this links to the Reticular Activating System (RAS) in the brain. The RAS acts like a filter, deciding what gets through to your conscious awareness and what gets screened out. It’s wired to prioritise anything connected to safety and survival, and it’s strongly influenced by the messages we continually repeat to ourselves.
If something didn’t work last time, the RAS logs that as unsafe. The nervous system then circles in protective strategies rather than expansion. You may avoid new opportunities, resist change, or hold back from trying again, even when the conditions are different.
It can also keep us looping in old stories like, “It didn’t work last time” or “I can’t trust myself to get this right.”
And while discernment and reflection are important, sometimes an idea, project, or path truly has run its course; more often, it’s about reshaping and adapting. You can use the past as feedback, and it becomes an invitation to go again with the wisdom you’ve gained, rather than retreating altogether.
I know this from running my own workshops and courses. What doesn’t quite land once often becomes the seed of something far more powerful the next time with a shift in approach. Yet, I’ve also faced those moments where my instinct was to retreat, to listen to the voice in my head saying, “This isn’t working. Who am I to be doing this?” Over time, I’ve learned to recognise the difference between when something truly needs to be let go and when fear is simply making me avoidant.
One of my own mentors shared a great perspective with me recently: “It’s not a failure unless you give up”. It hit home in a powerful way for me.
This is why helping your nervous system feel safe and balancing your Kidney energy is important to support you to keep going. When safety is restored, your body no longer interprets growth as a threat. You’re freer to take chances, explore new ideas, and expand without the constant pull of doubt keeping you small.
This is a big part of how I support my clients, whether in kinesiology sessions, where we clear the stress signals held in the body and balance the meridians to restore safety, or in my work with my business clients, where we pair these energetic tools with practical strategy.
We rewire the body and brain so they no longer misinterpret growth as danger.
Together, we might use techniques drawn from both TCM and neuroscience:
Kinesiology corrections to release the stress patterns stored in the Kidney meridian, or other parts of your body.
Nervous system regulation practices that calm the mind and soothe the body, helping you to feel safe.
Cognitive reframing to shift “it didn’t work last time” into “here’s what I learned, and here’s how I’ll approach it differently.”
Action steps that gradually expand what feels possible, so growth becomes sustainable rather than overwhelming.
Past experiences don’t have to hold you back. With the right support, they can become the very foundation for resilience, adaptability, and deeper trust in yourself, turning what once felt like a setback into the stepping stones that carry you forward.