ELEVATE YOUR LANGUAGE: SMALL SHIFTS, BIG IMPACT

Unlock the words that reflect your true confidence and presence

As women, we are often socially conditioned to downplay our opinions, soften our voices, and cushion our words to avoid seeming “too direct” or “too much.”

We add qualifiers, apologies, and disclaimers without even realizing it, habits that may have once helped us feel polite or approachable but ultimately chip away at the power of our communication.

Every time we weaken our language, we send a subtle signal to ourselves and others that we’re not fully confident in what we’re saying or that we’re seeking permission to take up space.

This matters, not just in big moments like presentations or negotiations, but in everyday interactions: the emails we send, the way we speak in meetings, even how we share ideas among friends.

I’ll be honest, I’m still improving on these patterns myself; they’re deeply ingrained! But here’s what I’ve learned: softening my words doesn’t make me more likable, it makes me less clear, confident and powerful.

And once I saw that, I started changing it, little by little, with awareness and intention.

Because when you shift your words, you shift your presence.

Common Disempowering Phrases - What They Signal + How To shift Them

“Does that make sense?” / “Do you know what I mean?”

→ Signals: That you don’t think you make sense, or like you’re not sure you can communicate your thoughts. Additionally, it can unintentionally sound condescending, and that the person you’re speaking to may not understand.

→ Shift to: “Let me know if you’d like me to explain that further” or simply pause and wait for a response.

“Just”

→ Signals: Diminishes what you are saying, makes you sound tentative and unsure of yourself.

→ Shift to: Remove it altogether - often, your sentence is stronger without it.

“Actually”

→ Signals: You’re surprised about what you feel or think rather than certain..

→ Shift to: State your point confidently, e.g., “I believe…” or “I recommend…”

“Kind of” / “Sort of”

→ Signals: Undermines what you're saying and softens your opinion. It makes you sound unsure.

→ Shift to: Drop the qualifiers: “I think…” or “I believe…”

“This might sound silly, but…”

→ Signals: You think your idea lacks value.

→ Shift to: Share your idea directly. Remember: if it’s worth saying, it’s worth saying confidently.

“I’m no expert, but…”

→ Signals: Undermining your authority.

→ Shift to: “In my experience…” or “What I’ve observed…”

“Oh that, it was nothing”

→ Signals: Diminishing your effort or achievements.

→ Shift to: “Thank you, I put a lot of care into it” or simply, “Thank you.”

“No problem” (in response to thanks)

→ Signals: Minimizing the help or effort you provided.

→ Shift to: “You’re welcome” or “Happy to help.”

“A little bit / a few minutes”eg. It will only take a few minutes.

→ Signals: Suggests you don’t think you’re worthy of having time. Devaluing your time or making yourself small.

→ Shift to: Simply state the duration without downplaying it.

“You probably already know this, but…”

→ Signals: Undermining the value of your contribution.

→ Shift to: State the point confidently.

Turning statements into questions

→ Signals: Seeking approval rather than asserting a viewpoint. eg. “Do you think we should…?”

→ Shift to: Eg “I think we should…”

Over-apologizing

Sorry but
Sorry, this might sound like a silly question...
Sorry, but could I just...

→ Signals: Discrediting yourself unnecessarily.

→ Shift to: Reserve apologies for true mistakes; otherwise, use gratitude:

→ Instead of “Sorry for the delay,” say “Thanks for your patience.”

→ Instead of “Sorry, I can’t make it,” say “Thank you so much for inviting me, but I have another commitment.”

The words we choose matter, they don’t just reflect how we communicate; they reveal how we see ourselves. By paying attention to these small but powerful shifts, you begin to stand more fully in your authority, whether in emails, meetings, or everyday conversations.

I invite you to start noticing:

What are the subtle phrases or habits you use that might be shrinking your presence?
How can you reframe them into language that feels strong, clear, and self-assured?

You don’t need to be harsh or cold to be powerful. Strong communication can be warm, kind, and grounded, and still carry authority.

Invitation for yourself this week:
Pick one of these habits to shift. Watch how it changes the way you feel and how others respond to you.

When you stand fully in your voice, your words, and your presence, you remind everyone, most importantly yourself, of the value you bring.